I'm glad all that work paid off. I had a blast making it, especially since I got such fun journal fodder from the pictures. I was pretty impressed with the results, actually. I didn't know if the latticework "pie crust" would hold its shape over a bowl like it did, but it turned out very realistic, and when I handed it over to Dave (the director of The Compleat Wks. of Wm. Shakespeare, Abridged), he said that it was "beyond [his] expectations."

I gave a copy of yesterday's entry to Gail, the stage manager (who I used to do improv comedy with years and years ago), and she and the other woman at the table (I think she's the co-director) loved Martin's column.

Thanks to everyone who commented and wrote to me. Martin Stewart is a character I made up a long time ago for improv, well before Martha was the household name she is now (she was on TV, but mostly as a guest on Good Morning America, I believe). Maybe he'll make another appearance or two in the future. He's fun to write.

Okay, just to clear a few things up from anyone who has ever googled me (top 5 searches that resulted in hits here):

1. I don't know where Stacy Dutton is. I don't know why she left Clean Sweep. I don't like Tava Smiley as a replacement, and I've pretty much stopped watching the show since Shelly and Valerie left (leaving only white folks to design and organize...is there something to that, TLC?). If anyone has information about Ms. Dutton, I'd be happy to pass it along, but she seems to have dissappeared from view.
2. I never wrote any slash about A-Rod and Derek Jeter. Apparently, writing slash fiction (for those of you who don't know about this, it's taking two characters from a TV show or something else fictional and pairing them up, as in Kirk-(slash)-Spock, most often in a sexual way) about real people and not just characters is taboo, and I didn't want to piss anyone off. I have written all of one slash story, and it was about two fictional characters from a popular show. That got it out of my system, and if I want to write any more erotica, I know that I can do it decently. Even though I feel Jeter and A-Rod are very pretty together, I don't think there's anything going on between them.
3. If you have warts on your chin? Go see a doctor.
4. I don't know what Patrick did wrong. I don't know why you're looking for "what Patrick did wrong." It takes a lot of searching to find me using that phrase, and if I've done something wrong to warrant a google search for it, maybe you're holding onto a little too tightly. I'll apologize if it's something really terrible, but you've looked it up seven times (that I've counted), and apparently, you're just seething about it, and don't know how to bookmark. Or else, there are seven different people who want to know what I've done wrong; which is either more or less disturbing than one person searching seven separate times.
5. Whoever you're looking for to "slap [you] harder"? Isn't me.

I realize that this list will result in more hits from folks just like you, but I figured it might be informational to set the record straight.

Can you tell I did nothing today? I was going to devote the day to binding copies of "Elephant" to send out to all the nice folks who bid on it, but I only got as far as buying more bookcloth and cutting out the pages. When I dug out the needle and thread to sew the pages together, I got distracted by something-or-other on TV and didn't finish.

I promise they'll go into the mailbox by Sunday. I tend to do better work when I'm under a deadline, and those books are pretty easy to make, once I remembered the technique.

Instead of being productive, I spent most of the day on the comfy chair, IMing with Laurie, fixing a problem with a template for someone in my new department (I'm not even in that department yet, and already, they're asking me to work! I don't really mind...it just means that I won't have that awkward, "Here's your desk, we don't have anything for you to do" period that comes with most new jobs), critiquing a piece of homework for Stephanie (she did an analysis of a Dorothy Parker poem that was very good), and chatting on The Usual Suspects.

The whole day, I had to rescue Trooper from slippery floor emergencies. I'm seriously thinking of designing him some doggie sneakers, so he has traction. He doesn't do too badly getting around if he's on carpet or on the lawn, but hardwood or vinyl flooring is impossible for him nowadays.

I don't want to think about it too much, because it's visibly worse every day, and I know the time is quickly approaching for Mom and I to take him to the vet. He's not in pain, and the distress he's shown when he can't get up has been replaced with a type of sighing resignment (which is almost sadder), but he can't hold himself in the proper position to pee without slipping, and I'm worried that even basic functions are going to become dangerous for him. The other night when I came home, his food dish was upside-down on the floor, with dry dog food spilled everywhere. We've kept Trooper's dish on a small table for years, ever since he got arthritis in his neck and found it difficult to bend down far enough to eat from a dish on the floor, and I can only surmise that he either tried to get something to eat or something to drink and slipped.

He's resting comfortably at my feet right now, with his head touching Skottie's, so I'm not going to think about tomorrow or the next day until they come.

"Elephant" got rejected from a small magazine today. It was a bit of a long shot, since the magazine is more literary than humor, but the call for submissions said that they liked humor and liked short-short stories, so I took a shot.

It was a terrific rejection letter. Even though it was via e-mail, it sounded "hand-written." The editor told me that s/he liked the story very much, and that it was funny and charming, but not what the magazine was looking for.

I don't quite know what type of magazine would look for "Elephant," to tell you the truth. It's much more successful as a monologue, so I may shop it around to drama publishing houses next. I know that audition monologues are very popular, and monologues for teenage girls are really hard to find, for some reason (I've had many requests for "Elephant" from teenage girls who have found it on Story Foundry, and they've all written to me because they haven't found anything appropriate for them in the books that are out), so maybe it'll sell in that market. I have three women's monologues that would probably do all right; I'll see what the protocol is for packaging such things and send them out.

Every day, I learn a little bit more about this "getting fiction published" business, and I think I'm getting just a little bit closer to that goal.

On the writing front, I did make some progress on the "poet play," which has worked itself into a 10-minute format. I like where it's gone, and I'll be ready to send it out to beta-readers fairly soon. I may wait until another 10-minute piece is done (I have two others I have half-written) and send them out together. The Hovey Players' Summer Shorts series deadline is coming up soon, and the Boston Theater Marathon accepts submissions later in the year, so I'll have somewhere to send these things out when they're done.

Actually, there's always a ten-minute play festival happening somewhere; I just haven't been as proactive as I should have been about sending out works that have already been successful elsewhere. For some reason, once a play has been performed, I tend to consider it "done," and want to move onto the next one. The reality is, the more a play is performed, the more legitimate it seems to become, so I should be shopping works from festival to festival, while sending the new stuff to venues I've worked with before.

As I said, it's a learning process. Someday, I'll have a really good system for all this, involving Excel spreadsheets and file folders and the like.

Actually, I should get that started soon, since my haphazard system isn't efficient at all, and I have too much sitting around doing nothing to let that get in the way.

I have to get up early tomorrow so that I can work the day shift before Duran Duran.

Do I have a date? Well, yes and no.

I initiated an online conversation in a roundabout way with someone who is utterly charming, very interesting, and a self-confessed "Child of the 80s" like myself.

Oh, and he's taken. He said so up-front, but it was my fault for not being clear enough before I asked if someone wanted to go see a concert with me. I said it "wasn't for a hookup," and I think he took that to mean "just friends."

Which is fine, really, if it happens that way. He sounds like a really interesting person to get to know, and I've said before that I don't have enough gay male friends in the area, so it could be the start of a friendship. (And someone that cute has to have some cute friends, anyway.)

I still have a couple of feelers out (nothing like waiting until the last minute), so we're in a holding pattern until 2pm tomorrow, when I'll let him know if he has the ticket or not. (I don't know if that's "Perfectly Proper," as the Fabulous Robert might say, but heck, it's my ticket!) At this point, meeting a new friend would be just fine. I'm not as worried about finding a boyfriend right now as I was at the beginning of this year. When I do settle with someone, it'll be because it's right, and not because of some pre-set, arbitrary deadline.

Since it's been such a slow day, journal-wise, and because my almost-wife Carol Elaine specifically requested I do so (and I am honored to have been picked), here's something I never do: a meme.

Three Names You Go By

1. Patrick
2. Pat (to my family)
3. Uncle Pat (to my family and one co-worker)

Three Screennames You've Had

1. xingcat
2. GrayXing1 (I do love Laurie's cats, don't I?)
3. NorthBostBoy (Back in my AOL cruising days, when I fit the description of "boy".)

Three Things about Yourself (Am I wrong, or is this one just too vague for words?

1. I'm deathly phobic about nail clippings. When Johnny Damon clipped his toenails on-camera during the playoffs, I nearly lost all interest in him. Nearly.
2. When I was younger, I used to shoplift. Sometimes, I see something in a store and think of a plan on how to grab it until I realize that I have, like, money and credit cards and stuff, and I can buy it if I want to.
3. Laurie and I almost got married for real back in college, just so we could both say we were divorced. Luckily, we talked ourselves out of the idea before it got out of hand.

Three Things You Don't Like About Yourself

1. My smile. I've never had the teeth to smile like my brothers do, and I always think I look uncomfortable when I'm smiling.
2. I have an incredible temper when pushed in just the wrong way, and I go for the jugular when that temper hits me.
3. My self-consciousness, which still haunts me, even though I'm much more comfortable in my own skin nowadays

Three Parts of Your Heritage

1. Irish
2. Scottish
3. Um...more Irish

Three Things That Scare You

1. Cancer. Too many people in my life have had it and/or have died from it.
2. That trip to the vet that's coming far too quickly for my liking.
3. Talking to good-looking guys. (Just to throw in a lighter one.)

Three Parts of Your Everyday Essentials

1. Caffeine-free Coca Cola
2. Writing a journal entry at the end of the night
3. Flossing

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now

1. My new jeans (not hand-me-downs from Sean)
2. My backwards watch
3. Boxers (because I know you've all been dying to know)

Three Favorite Musical Artists

1. October Project
2. Grey Eye Glances
3. Duran Duran (they're on my mind right now

Three Favorite Songs (Of all time or right now? I'll go with right now, because of all time would be too hard to think of this late)

1. When You Go - Marina Belica
2. Scatter Me - Susan Levine
3. Carrying Cathy - Ben Folds

Three Things to try in the Next 12 Months

1. Getting a work of fiction (not drama) published.
2. Visiting another country that isn't Mexico (since that one's booked already).
3. Making an independent film/video.

Three Things You Want in a Relationship - Love is a given

1. Laughter
2. Someone who makes my heart skip when I see him.
3. Absolute trust.

Two Truths and a Lie

1. I believe that, without Zoloft and therapy, I'd be dead now.
2. I voted for a Republican this last election.
3. I have no romantic interest in anybody who reads this journal.

Three Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You

1. Emotional openness.
2. The way women move.
3. Femininity in general.

Three Things You Just Can't Do

1. Drink apple juice.
2. Get emotionally attached to a reptile.
3. Whistle using two fingers.

Three Favorite Hobbies

1. Er...writing.
2. Acting
3. Newfound hobby: digital photography.

Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now

1. Finish this list.
2. Have another Cadbury Creme Egg.
3. Sink into my new down pillow.

Three Careers You're Considering

1. Fiction writer
2. Teacher/Professor
3. Counselor of some sort

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation

1. Cancun!
2. Tokyo
3. Greece

Three Kid Names

1. Logan
2. Quinn
3. Rose

Three Things You Want to Do before You Die

1. Fall madly in love with someone who madly loves me back.
2. Be on a reality TV series (sad, but true).
3. Own a house with a library.

Three Ways I'm Stereotypically a Boy

1. I don't stop and ask for directions.
2. I like to keep hold of the remote control.
3. I tend not to listen when people speak to me for too long.

Three Ways I'm Stereotypically a Girl

1. I love bath products.
2. I read far too much into offhand comments. ("He's Just Not That Into You")
3. I call my Mom whenever anything momentous happens to me.

Three Celeb Crushes

1. Josh Holloway
2. Timothy Daly (newfound crush)
3. Johnny Damon

The Three Bloggers Who Must Do This Quiz Oh, crap. I don't want to force anyone into doing this. Well, maybe just to get them to write something.

1. Mary Ellen
2. Suzanne (She writes all the time, but she likes memes)
3. Kymm

Damn! That took longer than I thought. Only for you, Carol, would I stay up late on a night before a 7:30am shift writing a damned meme.

And with that...good night!