March 1, 2005 Mostly a Dialogue Have you ever gotten to the point with someone where you realize that there is absolutely no point in trying to be rational with him/her anymore; not because s/he holds a point of view different from yours, or because s/he is stubborn, but because s/he is just monumentally stupid, and it's become an obvious, undeniable fact? I just got to that point. No details. It's not about anyone who's reading this. Astute readers will probably figure out with whom I am frustrated, but I'll get over it (I have already, truth be told) and move on, trying to avoid the more challenging topics (like how to read more than a single paragraph with comprehension) in the future. The scowl is just an indicator of mood. A fleeting mood, but an apt one. Sometimes my Cro-magnon eyebrows come in handy. A conversation I had with Laurie over Instant Messenger today, added for no particular reason except I found parts of it funny: LauriesIM: compressing the images? made it 5MB instead of 35MB. Silliness. GrayXing1: Good lord! You have to write that up, so that people will know how to do the compression without having to send the file to Dezin. GrayXing1: And I'll have to write up that Picture-to-table instruction guide, because that really rocks. LauriesIM: yeah, that really does GrayXing1: If we're proactive about this stuff (I already have about 2 pages worth of "above and beyond" Excel spreadsheets documenting what I've done since January), we can force Dan into bumping our pay a whole lot next review period (if we haven't changed jobs by then). LauriesIM: mmmmm.....aram's..... GrayXing1: Heh. LauriesIM: yeah, i was thinking i should document the training stuff and the [application] stuff LauriesIM: because i will forget LauriesIM: because i am dim GrayXing1: We both suffer from "good deedesia", where we forget everything good we've done, and come down hard on ourselves. LauriesIM: i never come down hard on myself at review time, silly! that's YOU! LauriesIM: but i don't remember ANYTHING to back up my wonderful self GrayXing1: Heh, I mean we don't document it so it looks like we're not as fabulous as we are. GrayXing1: Yeah, what you just said. LauriesIM: heh GrayXing1: I may keep a "good deeds for friends" spreadsheet, so I can document all the times I've done something nice for someone; so I don't feel like a terible person at random moments. LauriesIM: i guess, except it may end up making you crazy later when you get nothing back from any of them (or possibly from me, too) GrayXing1: Nah, I think you and I even out most of the time. GrayXing1: There are days or weeks when one is nicer to the other, lends money to the other, is supportive of the other, but then the next day/week, it all turns around. LauriesIM: ture LauriesIM: true GrayXing1: With some, it's very one-sided. LauriesIM: yeah, completely LauriesIM: some would never think that about themselves, either LauriesIM: which is why it's sorta painful GrayXing1: Eric: Ah, March. In like a liar, out like a lamp. Or whatever that old saying is. Is it really only Tuesday? LauriesIM: actually, they probably would assume it was about me and call me all concerned GrayXing1: Heh. "Patrick is mad at you. Did you know?" LauriesIM: YES! exactly LauriesIM: Eric is funny GrayXing1: Yeah. He's a riot. And cute. And likes me. And lives in FUCKING PHILADELPHIA! LauriesIM: what else have i done so far this year? trained steph, trained admins, worked with Project X, and did the orientation stuff. anything else? GrayXing1: You know, when you write out Philadelphia in all caps, it looks completely misspelled. GrayXing1: Hmm..let's see. GrayXing1: You did Large Project stuff first (right after Terry) LauriesIM: i know i also whined some LauriesIM: Large Project was last year, tho GrayXing1: True. GrayXing1: Did you do any of it this year? LauriesIM: yeah, maybe GrayXing1: Worked from home on a snow day (not above and beyond, but still shows that you're not a lazy-assed bitch like some people we know) LauriesIM: i went to a meeting? GrayXing1: Yep, a meeting for Large Project GrayXing1: I remember that, 'cause I had to go get The Crazy out of my head that day and couldn't make it. LauriesIM: heh! GrayXing1: Did you stay late a couple of days (easily traced through your timesheets), or take some work home or something? LauriesIM: maybe GrayXing1: You volunteered to help with the Image Database (and I'll send you stuff to do for that, so it can be a follow-through thing) GrayXing1: More Eric (I love this guy): So anyway, I was out last night for dinner with TCBITWWW. And some of his posse. Because, naturally, if you are TCBITWWW, you have to have a posse. Duh. Where was I? Oh, yes…we were out to dinner…well, except for the “dinner” part, which we forgot to eat. (Relax…we grazed our way through some apps. It’s not like it was ALL about the cocktails. (Actually, it pretty much WAS all about the cocktails. In retrospect, I think TCBITWWW was trying to get me drunk, so he could have his way with me. Boy, did I fool HIM!)) I now have no idea why I brought this up in the first place…senility is difficult, especially around the holidays. LauriesIM: TCBITWWW? GrayXing1: The cutest boy in the whole wide world. LauriesIM: ah! GrayXing1: Took me MONTHS to figure that one out, but I refused to ask. LauriesIM: heeheehee GrayXing1: 'Cause I'm a dork. (D-O-R-K-E!) Yeah, I'm a dork (Don't you wish you were me?) LauriesIM: dying for a beverage but haven't brushed my hair, and eating now so can't brush hair, dilemma!!! fuck marla o'bitch, i'm walkin' around with my unbrushed hair. brb. GrayXing1: k GrayXing1: His horoscope reactions are so funny: GrayXing1: You may not realize it yet, but someone's secret jealousy is taking on a life of its own -- and you may well be at the heart of it. (Yes, I am well aware of how secretly jealous you all are of me. How could you not be, reading about all of my fabulous daily exploits? Just for today, though, try to refrain from Weeping Because You Are Not Me. I mean, how many of me can there be? Although, today, if you were me, you could come sit here, and I could go back to bed. And trust me, after a day of sitting here, you wouldn’t so much be wishing you were me any more. You’d be begging me to take over being me again. Which I might or might not agree to do, if I were you, depending on which of “you” I was being at the time. ‘Cause if I were some of you, I’d probably be having way too much fun playing with yourself to go back to being plain ol’ me.) LauriesIM: what does he do? GrayXing1: I have no idea. I have the feeling he has no idea. He's most likely someone at a big corporation. I think it's a desk job to make enough money to be an actor. LauriesIM: very european of you, not knowing! GrayXing1: Hee hee. GrayXing1: What is it you DO, anyway? GrayXing1: Another dorky question after four years' worth of correspondence. LauriesIM: marla o'boring glared at my hair. i am pleased. GrayXing1: You should expose your belly to her. Just flash her as you go by. Then moon her on the way back. LauriesIM: we'll probably get a memo in a few weeks "all Design employees must be properly groomed at all times: examples include hair brushed..." GrayXing1: Hee hee. GrayXing1: "Wearing overbearing perfume and old-lady pearls..." LauriesIM: heehee!!! GrayXing1: "Barbara Bush hair is a plus." LauriesIM: I need a new laugh signifier. heehee no longer pleases me. BAHA is only good for startled amusement. LOL is SOOOOOO passé. Feh! GrayXing1: "Cardigans and sensible shoes work well when you're hiding your candy dish from the scum of the ea-- we mean, when you're putting away your valuables for safety." LauriesIM: GU? Giggles uncontrollably? GrayXing1: Hee. GrayXing1: La! GrayXing1: Fnark! LauriesIM: SM? Snorts Milk! LauriesIM: Aheee! LauriesIM: GFB? Gasping for Breath GrayXing1: That works, but it sounds dirty. LauriesIM: Heh! GrayXing1: "Please limit personal phone calls to company time, and keep your voice to a level that only the immediate three floors can hear you." LauriesIM: GU! LauriesIM: PC -- polite chuckle GrayXing1: Nah, PC is me! LauriesIM: PJC is you GrayXing1: Okay. LauriesIM: polite jolly chuckle GrayXing1: I like PC, because it works better than Heh. GrayXing1: JC? GrayXing1: Jesus Christ! GrayXing1: No, Jolly Chuckle! LauriesIM: heehee LauriesIM: i think i'm stuck in the 80s GrayXing1: I'd go for a religion that had Jolly Chuckle dying for our sins. LauriesIM: bahaha! GrayXing1: And Jolly did sayeth unto thee: "Go forth, and schedule documents without case codes, and complaineth to the masses about ripped dungarees." And the Chuckleheads all did so. LauriesIM: LWMO - laughs with mouth open GrayXing1: LWODTHH LauriesIM: sfof - spits food on floor GrayXing1: Laughs with only dogs to hear him LauriesIM: baha! GrayXing1: PPISF GrayXing1: Pees pants, it's so funny LauriesIM: that's a good one, i almost ppisf GrayXing1: PMISF would work better, 'cause you might not be wearing pants. GrayXing1: Pees myself. LauriesIM: i got it GrayXing1: You smart. LauriesIM: si LauriesIM: oui LauriesIM: wee LauriesIM: (hee) GrayXing1: I thought, "SI?" What's that? GrayXing1: I the dumb. LauriesIM: BAHA! GrayXing1: "Please be advised that all food should be eaten at one's desk, preferably with one's mouth open. Talking on the phone during mealtimes is encouraged." GrayXing1: I nudge pixels for Jolly Chuckle. LauriesIM: heehee, i am enjoying the concept of the chuckleheads GrayXing1: It's so easy to disguise our fright of religious zealots. GrayXing1: The Chuckleheads are taking over this country! GrayXing1: What would Jolly Chuckle do? LauriesIM: baha! GrayXing1: Jews for Jolly. LauriesIM: Jolly Saves! GrayXing1: Jolly Chuckle is my own personal Savior. GrayXing1: Baha! GrayXing1: Again with the psychic. LauriesIM: yep LauriesIM: scary GrayXing1: Though people would think that Angelina Jolie was some sort of right-wing Christian, with a French fetish. GrayXing1: Jolly, Mothra and Jehosephat! LauriesIM: they already think she's a freak, why not? GrayXing1: Heh. GrayXing1: True. LauriesIM: mothra, mother of jolly! LauriesIM: i love it GrayXing1: Baha! GrayXing1: PM GrayXing1: PMISF GrayXing1: Mothra, Mother of Jolly. GrayXing1: Gods, that's great! GrayXing1: I want bumper stickers for that. LauriesIM: actually, i guess it would be Mothra, Mother of Chuckle LauriesIM: it's usually Mary mother of christ, right? GrayXing1: True. That's just as good. LauriesIM: i am no damned xtian, what do i know GrayXing1: We are truly damned xtians. LauriesIM: heehee GrayXing1: But we've found a new life as born again Chuckleheads. GrayXing1: Or Chuckies, for short. LauriesIM: there's a chucklehead cider, and a jolly dry cider (google IS god) GrayXing1: Hee. LauriesIM: chucklehead is a band, of course LauriesIM: so they're god-rock! GrayXing1: jollychuckle.com is available. LauriesIM: of COURSE it is GrayXing1: Hee. GrayXing1: Must. Not. Buy. It. LauriesIM: it should really be jollychuckle.org, since it'd be a non-profit GrayXing1: "Jolly Chuckle is a registered trademark of HoHoCo." LauriesIM: heehee! GrayXing1: That's available too. LauriesIM: do you suppose the Hostess people would be willing to buy HoHoCo? GrayXing1: Quite possibly. GrayXing1: We could buy it then put up porn, get into a lawsuit and win, and get a million dollars from it. GrayXing1: Beats teaching PowerPoint to random admins. LauriesIM: definitely! GrayXing1: I should shower and get ready to vomit my deepest chemically-imbalanced worries to a LCSW. LauriesIM: yes, by all means LauriesIM: and have fun doing it... GrayXing1: Have a swell rest of your shift. And remember to moon Marla O'Blowme. Jolly would appreciate it. LauriesIM: jolly saves! LauriesIM: buhbye GrayXing1: byebye We got about 10" of snow overnight. When Mom went to bed the night before, I told her to knock on my door if Chris showed up with the snowblower, so I could help. I went to bed exceptionally late, so when the knock came, I mumbled, "yeah?" "Chris is here," said Mom. "Does he need me to help?" "Well...I'll ask him. I'll be back if he needs you." About two minutes later, I realized that I was being an asshat and quickly dressed and headed outside. Chris had finished the driveway, but I needed to do the sidewalk and front walks. That took very little time, so I crossed the street and snowblew out the new neighbors' driveway. They were very appreciative. (Have to add that to the Good Deeds Spreadsheet). The neighbors said thanks about a hundred times, until I told them that I love using the new snowblower, and I was always jealous when someone would walk down the street with a snowblower and not stop to help with our big driveway. Completely covered in snow, I toweled off, sat down at the computer, and stupidly checked my work e-mail. There was a message from Lara about the interviewee's skills assessment test (positive), so I went through the drive looking for it. I couldn't find it, so I IMed Terry, asking her if it was saved to the common laptop. She told me no, and then realized that the files were hidden within another folder, which I then accessed and sent a review to the manager. While online, the manager asked Terry and me to join him in an online chat about a training session he usually does, but I wanted to do while he was on vacation. He agreed to let me do it, and sent me the materials. I then realized that I didn't get all the forwarding addresses for all the design offices around the world (I got 10 out of 20), so I sent out another e-mail that was more stongly-worded, and before I could log off, a bunch of e-mails came in, asking me to test the forwarding of design e-mail boxes (which they could have done themselves, but whatever). I did that work, updated the spreadsheet I keep of things I do "off shift," and was about to call it a workday (on my day off!) when another fire needed putting out, so I dealt with that, as well. About 2.5 hours spent on my day off working. Sigh. One of these weeks, I won't have any extra time. Probably when I'm on vacation. I had to shower and change before my therapy appointment, which I did, putting Skottie out on his leash. I heard a car running, and realized that Mom and my brother had started both cars to facilitate the melting of snow. However, Mom never turned off my car. And that was five and a half hours ago! Luckily, I'd had a full tank of gas, otherwise I would have gotten into the car and nothing would have happened, and I wouldn't know why. Therapy with Jane was fine. Nothing but good things to report. I then went home, settled in on the comfy chair and have basically been there ever since! And now it's time for bed. Maybe I'll just take up a spot with Trooper on the floor: G'night!