January 20, 2005 The Funeral Today was Heather's grandfather's funeral. He lived way up in Maine, about 35 minutes away from Orono. It's about a 3.5 hour drive from my house, the ceremony started at 1pm, and Sean needed to stop to drop off his truck at Heather's parents' house (closer in Maine) before riding with us the rest of the way. So we decided to leave at around 8am, to make sure we beat any traffic and get there on time. It had snowed the night before, so I had to shovel before we left. I let Skottie out with me, because he had a ball with him, and usually he'll stick around when I shovel snow if I throw the ball for him. (He's taken to running away lately, and he's totally deaf, so it's impossible to call him back.) I threw the ball a couple of times, and shoveled inbetween. I didn't notice when Skottie didn't come back, because I was busy on the front walk. I finished the steps and looked around for Skottie, but he was nowhere to be found... I followed his paw-prints across the backyard, through the woods in the back of our house, and across the neighbor's backyard. They ended at a bridge on a street that led to one of the main streets in our town. I had my cell phone with me, so I called Mom and frantically said, "Skottie's missing! He ran over to Winn St.! I--" "Skottie's right here," Mom said. "What?" "I brought him in when I put out Trooper." Well, dang. I trudged home, noting the paw-prints across my brother's front lawn. Skottie must have gotten to the bridge, turned around, and ran back to the house on the other side of the block. While I was looking for him, Mom was letting him into the basement. After a frantic change of clothes, Sean arrived and we were off. The ride up to York wasn't too bad, but the ride to the funeral chapel was endless. Sean and I got a lot of conversation in, with Mom napping in the back seat for the most part. Sean has a financial planner that he wants me to meet, so that I can get everything ready for the time I buy a house (whether that turns out to be his house or not), and to maximize my 401K. It was a really adult conversation. I'm starting to turn into a grownup! Someone stop me! We got to Heather's grandmother's house, dropped Sean off, and went to a Dunkin' Donuts to wait it out until everyone was ready. I tried to avoid our President's inauguration on the television as much as I could. It sounded very much like a call to invade more countries, in the name of "freedom." This administration scares me more than I can say. At any rate, it was soon time to head back to the house, where we followed a line of cars to the funeral chapel. It was a smallish place, but considering Heather's grandfather lived in a smallish town, that seemed appropriate. There were a number of people there, and Mom and I seated ourselves in the back. The ceremony was short and simple. Heather gave the pastor a letter to read, and it was lovely. Heather was too broken up to read it herself, but the pastor did a good enough job with it that it didn't matter. It came directly from the heart, and that's what matters most. After the ceremony, there was a small luncheon at the local church. The "church ladies" had prepared sandwiches and some desserts. Mom and I sat down at a table with Sean and Heather, who appeared to be much better with the funeral over with. We chatted and I actually got her to laugh about last week's episode of The O.C., and she ate some food, so she wasn't feeling the nausea that had taken her over since she got pregnant. I think she sounded relaxed for the first time since hearing about her grandfather's illness. We only stayed for an hour or so. As we left, both Heather and her mom told us that we were "crazy" for making the four-hour trip up for such a short funeral, but we explained that they were family now, and that's what our family does. (I really like our family, and most people seem to agree with me about that.) Then it was time to hit the road again. Maine has recently changed the way they number their exits; instead of numbering them by the position in which they're placed, they're numbered by the number of miles each exit is from the border, so you can go from Exit 41 to Exit 65, say, without any exits inbetween. It helps a lot when you're trying to figure out how long it'll take to get from one town to another, but it can also be frustrating to know just how long you have to go until you get home. There was one scary moment where I hit a patch of black ice and lost control of the car completely. Luckily, there were no other cars around, and I didn't hit a barrier or anything, but I was really shaken up. We decided to stop at the next rest area to grab a small snack and calm our nerves. After that, it was smooth sailing down to Massachusetts, but we were exhausted. What is it about driving that makes you so tired? After I got home, I logged into the work computer, and found out that I'm going to have my year-end review tomorrow at 1pm. I got all my peer and consultant reviews, and they weren't too bad! I was very worried, because the beginning of the year was so difficult for me. We're judged on a point-basis, from 1 (very bad) to 5 (utterly excellent), and mostly, I got 4s, with some great commentary, especially from people whose opinions I respect. I especially liked what Terry had to say about me, that I'd improved greatly from last year. Mind you, this was written back in October, when I was still feeling very anxious about a lot of things and sure I was screwing up at every turn. Now, I'm actually looking forward to meeting with Dan. Even if he gives me a tiny raise and no bonus, I at least know that I'm headed on the right track.