January 10, 2005 Off the Wagon I totally fell off the wagon today. Today started out badly, because it's Monday, and on Mondays, I have to wake up at 6 in order to get to work by 7:30. I'd spent the night before up way too late, and the alarm wasn't a welcome sound. I bumbled my way through the shower/shave/dress process, said a few words to Mom, and took off for work. An accident on the highway just after my exit didn't help to improve my mood. When I got to work, all was quiet. Dan had arrived before me, which was different. He started a conversation with Ellen about Macromedia Breeze, an application we're starting to implement in the department. I immediately butted in, because I think the program is totally cool, and felt somewhat slighted because I'd made my interest in becoming proficient in the program pretty clear. So I took the initiative and barged in. That turned out to be a good thing, since I was able to show Dan a few things about PowerPoint animation that he didn't know (like the fact that you no longer have to group objects to animate them all at once...fascinating, I know), and come up with a solution to a problem he'd been having exporting sound and video into Flash. But then the day got busy, in an annoying kind of way. A lot of consultants submitted documents without scheduling them. Someone who used to work in our department told me that he was scheduling a 50-page document, but then announced that he was actually sending in a 200-page document. I insulted him by calling him a consultant, which is just about the worst thing you can say to a design person in our company, even if he has moved on from design to consulting. One consultant scheduled a document, sent it in with an e-mail that said "I'll call soon to discuss this." An hour later, when no call arrived, I called her, and she said, "Can I call you back in an hour? I'm having dinner right now." It was just that kind of day. So when I finally took my break, I hit Taco Bell. Something about the greasy mess that's served there is comforting to me. And while I was there, I heard someone ordering it. The thing I've avoided for over two years... Code Red Mountain Dew I've been off caffeine for about two years, since I've had problems with anxiety, and I knew that caffeine makes people jumpy at best, so I gave it up. I've been living on caffeine-free Coke and Sprite and lemonade for all this time, and it only took one bad day to get me back on the stuff. A large cup. Gigantic. It was bliss. I was vegan for a couple of years just after college. It was a pain in the ass, finding things to eat that didn't contain animal products of any kind, but I have truly never felt physically better than that time. I had a lot of energy, I was very thin (it's hard to gain weight when you're not ingesting any animal fat) and felt light and airy. Laurie thought I was a complete bore, food-wise, but I felt great about it. However, I moved back in with Mom when I came back to the Boston area, and Mom's idea of a good vegetable with dinner is an iceburg-lettuce salad. I tried, but after questions like, "Having gravy on your potatoes isn't cheating, is it?", I caved. I started having little bits of meat here and there, and then suddenly found a liking for steak. Beef. Pork. I became a carnivore again, and I haven't looked back since. When I had my appendix out, I was given Percocet to deal with the pain. I found that I liked Percocet a whole lot. After there was no reason to take it, I kept popping those pills until they were gone. Good thing I don't have an enabling doctor, because I'd be stealing tv sets to feed my addiction by now. So I guess what I'm saying is that I have to make sure I don't go back to the crack that is Code Red Mountain Dew. But it is so tempting. So sweet. So caffeine-licious. I need serious help. In other news, Stephanie has her first shift at The Consulting Company tomorrow. She's really excited about it, and I'm happy that I was able to help her out with this opportunity. Dan forwarded her response to his offer letter to Laurie and me, so we'd know her hours for this week. At one point, Stephanie wrote, "I'm so happy to be training with Laurie. Patrick has told me so many nice things about her!" Of course, Laurie has known Stephanie since she was three years old. I think Stephanie was trying to put a little bit of distance between Patrick the Supervisor and her Uncle Pat, but I thought it was hilarious and cute that she made such an effort to maintain this professional veneer. I have an appointment with Dr. B. at 1pm tomorrow, and with Jane at 3. Usually when I have appointments that close together in the city, I'll stop by work. However, with Stephanie being there on her first day, I'm worried that she'll think I'm checking up on her (which I totally would be, but that's beside the point). It'll be interesting to have her around the office. I hope she likes it.