Subject: joke
Date: Thursday, March 9, 18:15
Hey, did you hear about that controversial new game show on Indian TV, called "Who Wants to Marry a Man With Four Rupees and a Cow?"
I wrote that myself.
Subject: Update
Date: Saturday, March 11, 15:47
EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE!! I really have spoiled you with these frequent updates, haven't I?
Life has just been uneventful of late, which explains the lack of news. Annette seems to be feeling a bit lethargic, so she putters about, does a little work and naps religiously every afternoon. She still works out, that's the important thing. I've mostly been training and bike shopping. Normally I'm putting in one or two hours a day on the bike plus either skating, running hills, yoga or dryland exercises. This requires a great deal of time and energy, but hey, that's what I'm here for. I only need to work a few hours a day to stay on top of my freelance jobs. Not a bad life. I suppose I should start working on a novel or something but now I feel like the next six months are going to be my last chance to work out when I want to or hang around and do absolutely nothing for hours on end, so I'd better take advantage of it.
Bike shopping has been a little stressful - too many options - but I think I have it narrowed down. I'm going to treat myself to something Italian and gorgeous but not too expensive (by my standards, anyway). You'd never have imagined this, but at the moment Germany is probably the cheapest place in the world to buy a road bike (mountain bikes are another story) - better even than the US. I'll probably decide next week then take delivery after I get back from the skating camp.
As for the "brain drain," it's no bloody wonder when American schools are paying the same in US dollars as Canadian schools in Canadian dollars, and then offer a lighter teaching load and other benefits as well. But there will always be a few nuts like us who'd rather not live in the States, even if it means scraping along with much less money. So maybe we'll just stay here until there's a job at Toronto.
This morning I went for a long ride up north past Tegel to check out a few bike shops. Poor Annette went bra-shopping, with C tagging along for moral support. She won't be in a good mood when she comes home, I'm guessing. (Her best line to date, on the subject of a certain unwanted side-effect: "This would be a lot easier to deal with if you could call it a double-C.") I'll be running out the door soon, down to T & L's to watch cycling on cable TV while C is busy babysitting.
Regards,
Scott
Subject: procrastination
Date: Monday, March 13, 2000 22:03
Well I should be getting back to work but there's no harm in a little warm-up first. Annette is on her way home from the university - now that job-hunting season is over, she's found the energy to begin working on her dissertation/book project again - and I returned from a long ride a little while ago. It wasn't a bad afternoon.
We enjoyed a quiet but pleasant weekend. Plans to go out were thwarted at every turn so we gave up and stayed home and rented movies instead. I went for a long ride (with some bike-shopping included) on Saturday, skated on Sunday. Today I was supposed to take it easy but decided to go riding with a friend in the afternoon, after working for a few hours this morning. At this time of year one should take advantage of good weather. He showed up on the mountain bike and took me through the trails in the Grunewald for almost two hours. There were some difficult moments on my smooth street tires - I couldn't keep up with him on the descents - but I had a great time tearing around. It's been ages since I've ridden in the woods. A nice way to spend a late winter afternoon. I must be fitter now, as I barely felt tired after riding for nearly three hours (and thanks to some interesting technology, I can tell you that in 2 hours 47 minutes, my average heart rate was 138 and the maximum 172).
Back to the one truly important thing in my life - the new bike. I've made my decision, and ordered the frame today. I'll go have a look when it arrives on Thursday and if everything is okay it will be built up next week. I will be riding a Bianchi, made in Italy, by no means their best frame but not their worst either. Campagnolo components, needless to say (if anyone cares, it's the L-Lite 7005 aluminum frame with shaped down tube and threadless carbon fork, in traditional Celeste of course, and I'll build it up with the Chorus 9-speed gruppo, ITM bar & stem, and regular wheels though I may buy some Shamals later this summer - this is what it should like, minus the silly yellow stem). You can't put Japanese stuff on an Italian bike, it's just wrong. Basically I spent enough so that I would still be happy with it in a few years time. There were some outrageous deals on cheaper bikes but I think I would have regretted not spending more. Particularly when spending more is going to become increasingly difficult in the not-too-distant future. I found a local shop who would match the price of an internet mail-order joint, so I get the savings along with local shop service. The prices are so good right now that I really couldn't go wrong. Much, much cheaper than at home (about $1,500 US).
The other athletic purchase, alluded to earlier, was a new heart rate monitor, acquired at a heavy discount through the new team. It uses a tone pulse to download data to a computer. No expensive interface, just hold it next to the microphone (the laptop has a built-in mike, conveniently) and push the button and it makes this weird squeaking sound for about thirty seconds and presto, you have the whole workout on the computer. Very slick. Otherwise you need a degree to figure out how to work the damn thing. Even after fetching the English version of the instruction manual (40+ pages) from the Polar web site I'm still scratching my head.
* * *
Just back from the dinner break. Annette came home feeling slightly queasy so she just made herself a batch of rice. She started feeling worse when I dumped my portion into the leftover borscht I was eating, and watched it slowly turn into a bloody pink mess. She left the room when I called it "a big bowl of car accident." One good thing about this whole you-know-what business is that Annette seems to crave healthy food, so suddenly we've been buying more vegetables and actually eating them instead of leaving them to rot in the fridge like we normally do. I feel better already.
* * *
Returning now to the narrative, we've been talking, in a very abstract sort of way, about maybe possibly eventually acquiring another cat. It's not like it would make us any less mobile, really. I don't know if we're serious about this, but there are some good reasons. Despite her bitchy nature, Vita actually does enjoy the company of other cats. She loved having both friends and enemies come into the apartment back in Vancouver, and she and Damiel were frequent wrestling partners during her brief stay at P's. But here she has no feline playmates, and sometimes I think she's lonely. Now that her heart problems are under control she has far more energy than before, and is frequently howling at us to come and frolic with her. If she's not getting enough attention now, think how she'll feel in eight months' time. So maybe she needs a playmate. Then the question is what sort of playmate. While the responsible thing would be to adopt an adult cat, particularly since Vita appears to loathe kittens, but we've already fallen in love with one cat without knowing her as a kitten, and I don't think we'd want to miss that stage again. And then there's the small matter of what kind of cat. I'm particularly fond of silver tabbies, but perhaps a majestic Maine Coon, or a sleek little Korat, or a glowering gray Chartreuse, or a puffball Persian? So many possibilities. We should also consider a duck or some other class of barnyard fowl.
Okay, now I really need to get some work done. One of my former colleagues called me up and said that he needed some icons designed. I quoted him a large but not completely ridiculous sum, he said fine, then I realized it was much less work than I'd first thought. Oh well, I'm still cheaper and faster than anyone else they could find, despite a better-than-lawyer hourly rate. And there are a few other things that need to be finished this week before I can even think about packing. I depart for Mallorca on Saturday morning. Very, very early Saturday morning, unfortunately. The flight leaves at six. I think these cheap vacation charters are set up so that you can start your holiday with a bang by coming straight from the disco to the airport without going home to sleep. I just hope there aren't too many drunks on the flight. The weather looks to be sunny and warm but not too hot, which is perfect. It's going to be a fun trip, I think. As I keep saying, once in your life, you have to go to Mallorca with Germans. (The full horror of this is certainly lost on those who haven't seen the annual TV exposés of the one particular strip that seems to be the European Ft. Lauderdale.) What the hell, it will be an experience.
Regards,
Scott
Subject: German TV
Date: Tuesday, March 14, 2000 23:48
German TV is a beautiful thing. Last night, on some news magazine show, a whole segment on how to tape up your breasts so you can go dancing without a bra. Three different models tried three different adhesive breast-support techniques. Many, many close-ups of the breasts being taped. Different angles, endless repeats. Then after a night at the disco, straight to a dermatologist, who peeled off the tape and gave them all a lecture about the terrible things that glue does to the skin. Many close-ups of red, irritated breasts.
German TV is amazing.
Scott
Subject: Wednesday thoughts
Date: Wednesday, March 15, 2000 15:31
Warning: I'm feeling ornery and sarcastic today.
It's an odd sort of life I lead. My days are work-days in reverse: putter around doing my own thing until six or seven, then have dinner and work for a few hours before going to bed. Not a bad life, just different.
Today I'm trying to break that cycle, however, because I really need to get some work done. I have a lot of things to deal with before the end of the week: finishing jobs, fixing the damn computers, getting ready for the trip (cleaning three sets of bearings) and training. Tonight Annette and C are seeing a film about famed Weimar sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, but alas I'm staying home to work.
So it's late morning (okay, early afternoon) and here I am in front of the computer, attempting to be productive before the sun goes down. It's not easy. I was up late working last night and awoke in a bit of a fog. We loafed for a while then cleaned the apartment, paid attention to a very demanding little Vierbeiner, and started doing laundry. I am down to my last pair of underwear, and when you live without a dryer it's 24 to 48 hours before you see your clothes again. You really need to plan in advance before travelling.
Okay, just let me say this once. I wish, oh how I wish, that the German media would cease referring to Africa as "der Schwarze Kontinent." Jesus H. Christ, that's offensive. Right.
Today I'll probably take a break from training. I'm physically tired. Yesterday was supposed to be a rest day but we did yoga in the morning and I was pooped for the rest of the afternoon. So today I might just stay home, or go for a very easy hour's ride and then if I feel up to it, some dryland exercises. I should skate at least once more before the camp, so I am not completely destroyed by daily training.
The weather isn't helping. It has been, in the words of Radio Eins, "grau, grau, grau." Very Vancouver. Pelting rain most of yesterday, today blue skies with clouds and the occasional brief snow-shower. It's close to freezing again but should warm up as the week progresses. Annette insists that it's been a wet winter, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I think her perception is coloured by the fact that it has rained during almost every one of her Tuesday night and Sunday morning running workouts, while I am a little more flexible and generally save my rides and skates for better conditions.
Yesterday afternoon, "we" had a doctor's appointment. I say "we" because my presence was requested. I don't know why - they didn't even weigh me. But I suppose it was worth putting in an appearance - you get free day care and stuff from the German government if at least one parent is blonde and blue-eyed. Just kidding! Anyway, it was interesting. I've never actually been present for a gynecological exam. Why would I have been? Oh dear, that can't be pleasant. I simply assumed that looking away was the polite thing to do, but Annette said I squirmed visibly. All is well, I'm told. Apparently the date is sometime in the second half of October, which is probably more convenient from the perspective of enjoying our last summer of freedom.
The doctor did yet another ultrasound with this rather sinister-looking wand thing that gets poked you-know-where. It flickered and moved. It is evidently alive. Thank the lord, there is only one of it. Annette got all warm and maternal when she saw the flickering lump, but I was like "yeah, whatever." I suppose anything beyond hostility and alienation is a bonus at this point, so I don't feel too bad. As we were leaving the doctor asked if I had any questions, to which I replied "Es ist besser im Moment nicht so viel zu wissen, glaube ich." [It's better right now not to know so much, I think.]
I don't actually use the word "pregnancy" very often. I just call this whole business the "swollen, bloated wife thing." It makes it so much easier to deal with. I certainly don't use the word "baby" - never, ever. Okay, if there's one thing I've learned this last month it's not to make predictions, but nevertheless I have to believe that the infant stage will mostly be a disgusting and tiresome ordeal that one must endure and that one hopes will be over as quickly as possible. It's not that you won't love the kid, but only in an abstract god-can't-you-grow-up-any-faster-and-please-stop-shitting-and-puking-everywhere sort of way. I know there are people out there who say it's a "special time" and it "goes by too quickly" and I'm like, hello, exactly what ate your brain?Despite all this grumping, I'm dealing, I'm coping. And now I have all these new, exciting, different and fun ways in which to torment Annette. After a long bout of teasing this morning she said, smiling all the while, "You're being very mean to me, you know." And I said in return, "Basically it's revenge, from now until death. You represent a threat to my way of life." "Oh." I think we'd both be worried if I wasn't being ornery and sarcastic. Obviously she's not suffering from a lot of violent hormonally-induced mood swings, or I'd be a dead man several time over.
Okay, I really, really need to get started here. This is getting ridiculous.
Regards,
Scott
PS Thanks for the clippings. The article about Vancouver as a livable city was very interesting. Of course, many of the things that make it so unusual for North America are perfectly normal in Europe - dense residential neighbourhoods near the city centre, pedestrian areas, public green spaces, refusal to bow before the almighty car, tight government controls on development, high land prices, etc. And it's nice to know that Trevor Lautens is still an ignorant, reactionary twit of unparalleled shallowness. At least he was so busy going on about communists that he didn't have time to do his usual anti-choice spiel. What an ass.
Subject: a threat
Date: Wednesday, March 15, 2000 15:33
If you can't find it in your heart to reply more than once a month I'm going to write you into a short story as my new all-time favourite character - Betty Oberschenkel, irritated Wisconsin housewife of German-American descent.
[Oberschenkel = thigh]
Date: Thursday, March 16, 2000 10:48
Okay, I'm feeling less dyspeptic today. Distinctly less ornery, you'll be glad to hear. Maybe it's the brief glimpse of blue sky. Maybe I'm just too tired.
I was up late again last night, finishing jobs. Normally the nine-hour time difference works to your advantage, as you can goof off all day and still deliver things before people get to work in the morning, but when the schedule is tight and you need feedback and approval and something needs to be done by the end of the Vancouver business day, well, you're up until two or three. Which I don't really mind, as I often work better at night. So I finished a couple of documents and a batch of icons. A thousand bucks a day isn't a bad rate for drawing little pictures. It's more than most artists ever see and I have considerably less talent.
I haven't really figured out how to best organize the next two days, but they will include the following:
- work: web site stuff for two different clients
- training: cycling and dryland today, cycling and hill-running tomorrow
- pre-trip errands: shopping and travel insurance and banking and packing and god knows what else
- bike: go see the frame when it comes in and spec all the parts and pay for it, then try on shoes at another shop; do something about the lamentable state of my mountainbike
- skates: overhaul three sets of bearings
- computer: at the very least, buy a damn external CD so that I can fix some things on the laptop; I won't have time to tackle the Win98 installation and network setup before leaving
So I shouldn't be writing this email.
I'm feeling less snarky about the whole bloated, swollen wife thing. I wasn't grumpy, exactly, just snarky. But this morning (after several snickering emails from well-meaning friends who nevertheless know when to turn the knife) I realized that parenthood will be an excellent opportunity to really mess with other people's minds. What fun! Just imagine the consternation of the neighbourhood Moms when they discover that the highlight of our little angel's birthday party was a peanut butter-filled pinyata. "Now, ladies, there's no need to get upset. I've got a hose out by the driveway and you can just spray the little dears clean before packing them off home."
I forgot to mention in my last update that C and I are somewhat serious about doing this multi-sport event in Switzerland, in mid-July. There's a "couple's race" for men and women, dividing the five events between them. Annette is clearly out of the running, but C seems keen. And she's probably faster anyway! I would do the first three legs: a 48 km mountainbike course (over a 2300 m pass, however); a 122 km road bike course (with some less severe climbs); a 30 km inline skate. C would do the 3 km lake swim and the 42 km marathon. I'd be pretty messed up after seven or eight hours of cycling and skating, but less messed up than if I did all five events alone. We'll see. It's expensive and a big commitment and I'd probably have to find a better mountainbike to use and would need a few training weekends somewhere with hills (Berlin has the geography of Saskatoon) so I don't know yet if we will do it, but I think we might. It depends in part on our respective race schedules, as C has "Bundesliga" triathlon commitments with her team and I have the Nord-Cup skating series to think about.
Okay, time to get on with my day. The coffee has kicked in, the headache is gone, it's time to start working my way through that damn list. I think I'll start with the skates.
Regards,
Scott
