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Gazing into the Abyss: Michael Rawdon's Journal

 
 
 

That Triumphant Feeling

Back from vacation, I actually pull myself out of bed before 7:30 am. Go me! I take care of some chores around the house, and then get into my car, cats meowing behind me (they're still overjoyed that I'm home and can't believe I'm going out again). Me, I'm glad to be back in the dry California weather - I've had enough of New England mugginess for a while.

Do you ever have that triumphant feeling of coming back from a journey to a far-off land, like you're a victorious crusader expecting the cheer of your subjects as you ride through the gates of your city? That's how I always feel coming back from vacation, feeling rested and relaxed and having put day-to-day stresses behind me for a little while. Zipping down the freeway, windows down, with the stereo turned all the way up (in this case, listening to cuts from Karnataka's album Delicate Flame of Desire, a recent favorite), I feel it strongly this morning.

I knew it was a false feeling: I'd get a few cheerful "welcome back"s and "how was your vacation"s, and then it would be business as usual. I'd plod through my e-mail and scan my unread bug list (about as soul-draining experience an you can have on your first day back at work, let me tell you). But I exult in the thought nonetheless, for those 15 minutes. I may be just a cog in the great machine, but at least I can be the fulcrum in my own mind (not that that makes a whole lot of sense...).

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I'll write a few backdated entries about my vacation. I'm going to try some new approaches in my journal going forward, to try to get myself more interested.

It has, after all, been over seven years since I started this chronicle - without a true hiatus - which eclipses most other on-line journals and weblogs out there. And since my life isn't a series of train wrecks, I've gotta find some new fuel to keep my steam up. (Boy, I'm just Mister Strange Metaphor today, aren't I?)

 
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