QPID


I was actually glad to see Q when he showed up.  As many of you may know, I
don't, in general, care for Q.  This should give you a good clue as to how
much I enjoyed the first 13 minutes of "Qpid".

There were precisely three moments of this episode that I enjoyed:

1) Picard: "He wants to do something nice for me."
   Riker: "I'll alert the crew."
2) Worf: "I object!  I am NOT a merry man!"
3) LaForge and Picard killing some of the people in Q's fantasy-land.

Other than those moments, I think that the rest of this episode was horrid.
Here are some reasons why:

- In the first 15 minutes, EVERYONE (except, interestingly enough, Jonathan
  Frakes) looked uncomfortable with their lines and the situation.  McFadden
  did, Stewart did, the woman playing Varsh did, Dorn did.  This is not a good
  sign.
- Sitcom-like script in the first 15 minutes, all of which was oh-so-absurd.
  I kept waiting for Picard to remember that Varsh was a PAIN IN THE ASS
  when they last met, and very little else.  This really undercut any belief
  I might have had that Picard really cared for Varsh.  Maybe he's just really
  frustrated on that ship.  (I was going to say, "Okay, that's a low blow,"
  but for this episode, I don't think it is.)
- The idea that Q risking Picard's life and those of his friends is a "nice
  gesture" is VERY tenuous logic, especially considering that the lesson it
  was supposed to teach Picard is something he should have learned in
  "Captain's Holiday" anyway.  If he didn't get the message then, he sure as
  heck isn't gonna get it now.
- Q is unable to alter the sequence of events in his little playground that
  he dumps everyone in.  I thought he was supposed to be omnipotent?
- And as long as we're picking nits, just how DID Varsh get into Picard's
  quarters?  If she's able to break through security codes on Starfleet
  ships, I'm not sure I'd let her get away...
- Okay, hold the phone.  Q offers to take Picard THROUGH TIME to visit an
  ACTUAL EXTINCT CIVILIZATION BEFORE IT DIED OUT and Picard REFUSES?  Okay,
  I know Picard is supposed to be a stubborn old coot ( :-) but even so,
  there's something wrong with this picture.  Considering that Picard's
  mission is ostensibly to seek out new life and new civilizations, to
  boldly go where... aw, you know, I'd think he'd jump at the chance,
  DESPITE any risks that Q might pose as an unknown quantity.  Heck, if I
  were him, I might try to convince Q to bring along all these famous
  archaeologists who are on board.  Is Picard really this dumb?  I guess so.
  For this episode anyway.  So much for the light of reason.
- Troi shooting an arrow into Data:  Why did I feel like I'd already read the
  script when Data spoke his lines?
- Worf breaking LaForge's mandolin: Ditto.
- Varsh.  I think I've finally found a character I like even less than Troi
  and Q.  Her opportunism was old in "Captain's Holiday", and besides that,
  there's really not much to her.  *I* certainly don't believe that she loves
  Picard.  I trust her about as far as I can throw Worf.  Maybe she's just
  frustrated too.
- Q: "I forgot my hat."
- Varsh: "Does that remind you of anyone you know?"  Was this completely
  transparent from the moment Picard opened his mouth, or what?

And, to put all this in perspective, I enjoyed the Bud Dry commercial between
the episode's conclusion and the trailer for next week more than the episode
itself.

About the only part of this episode which held my attention was the material
involving Picard's speech.  I *wanted* to hear his speech.  It certainly
couldn't have been much worse than what we were shown.

A couple (as in precisely one pair) of yuks and a little action isn't enough
to heave this one out of the basement.  Worst of the season, by a long
shot, IMHO.  I'll take the Bud Dry commercial.

Grade: F

SEASON FOUR AT A GLANCE:
The Best Of Both Worlds Part Two: C-
Family: A-
Brothers: B
Suddenly Human: C
Remember Me: A+
Legacy: D+
Reunion: B
Future Imperfect: D-
Final Mission: B
The Loss: D-
Data's Day: B-
The Wounded: C-
Devil's Due: C-
Clues: B
First Contact: C+
Galaxy's Child: F
Night Terrors: B
Identity Crisis: B+
The Nth Degree: C+
Qpid: F
---
Total Points:  43 1/3
Season Average: 2.167 = C+
(Fall of 0.114 from previous episode)